Clearly Not Seeing Clearly

(Originally posted Mar. 8, 2020)

You are about to read this sentence and these words, and for the most part, it must seem pretty straightforward. Imagine reading this one sentence aloud, then finding out afterward that what you read isn’t quite what was written? Now consider that everything you ever thought you were reading may have been different from what others were reading? Welcome to my life, for I have just come to understand I am dyslexic.

In keeping with this theme of 2020, the year of Seeing Clearly, I would like to share something I experienced in January. Dyslexia, one of the blind spots in my life, was expressed so that I could finally see it. This “tick” finally revealed itself to me while aprendiendo Español, learning Spanish. In class, it was apparent I could not read or speak clearly. I felt vulnerable, exposed and frustrated. The words were obvious, and I could easily see them in my mind, yet the sounds I made never matched the words, or the sounds were right. The words were wrong. Naturally, anyone learning something new, like a language, experiences these feelings. Yet as I sat in class, I became aware I was experiencing something very familiar, personal, and intimate. I began to see and feel a lifetime of classroom reading experiences converging upon me in those moments.

Now, here’s the rub, I am pretty quick mentally. I have a long list of well-established skill sets. I have attended many teaching establishments/schools throughout my life and received different accreditations or “titles.” I now know this inability to understand written or spoken words was conveniently buried in years of assumptions that I was not understanding or that I hadn’t studied enough. I can easily recall many times people laughed at my mispronunciation of words. Or those times, friends and teachers took books away from me because it was too hard to listen to me read.

However, this is the cool part, and my academic shortcomings were coupled with an ability to adapt. I learned to watch people very closely to anticipate communication styles. By observing their actions, I developed an ability to distinguish truth from red herrings and answer questions correctly. I also adapted by drawing pictures to help me understand concepts. The latter is how I passed my Commercial Pilot’s license, especially the dry legal or data-related portions of flying. At 41, I created a written language with 96 glyphs because I could. The glyphs helped me to see the written another way too. Yet until Spanish class, I still felt like a fish learning to climb a tree again.

Here’s my point. Each of us has a blind spot, and usually, they are right out in front of your life. You have developed ways of working around them and adapted to minimize discomfort in your life, yet this glitch permeates your daily life. So what if you could have your blind spot could be revealed to you? Imagine how your life could be by knowing why you struggled and how you’ve adapted. This knowledge is beyond using as a crutch or excuse for not “being able to do something.” You can transcend the need to be a victim. Instead, it becomes a strength for you because you see where you may have been lacking and where you have adapted.

My wound was bound to my ability to adapt. It helped me create an excellent ability to weave my eclectic teachings together. In so doing, I can now extrapolate possible outcomes quickly to any situation and accurately predict the best probable results. It also encouraged me to seek teachers who have a very different of seeing the world. I now couple my devotion to Spirit with my Spiritual Gifts. This collection of tools has become a potent combination that many people now depend upon.

In seeing things clearly, we also learn that wounds are always are offered with solutions. When I was young, a wise woman in England walked me around her wild garden. In it was Poison Ivy, which she pointed out. Then she showed me all the plants that counteract the plant. She felt it was vital for me to know that an antidote is always right beside the poison. Many years later, I am sitting in Spanish class, my partner Lisa noticing my struggle, confirm what she had always suspected, my Dyslexia. The problem had a solution right beside it. Lisa directed a video on Dyslexia some years back, and what she saw I had all the symptoms. I am grateful for her keen observation and that, again, Spirit had not left me alone with my problem. A solution, an answer, was right there with me.

Now I have a question for you, what has your blind spot encouraged you to develop? In this year of Seeing Clearly, are you noticing areas in your life where things seem not quite in alignment? Do you have to put more effort in where others flow easily? Seeing is about being willing to transcend your limitations by knowing they are there. It is about learning how your gifts and adaptations have blended and developed by years of tweaking. It’s about finding out the truth about you and thus realizing a new strength where only confusion existed before. My blind spot led me to believe I was less intelligent than others. To compensate for that belief, my intelligence found other ways to learn. My different way of processing information is now showing me where I am anything but less intelligent. We are in the third month of a year of seeing clearly. I can only imagine what is waiting for me as the year progresses.

Now I ask you, where is your blind spot daring you to see something very different about you? Something you may have believed was a flaw and yet hides a strength? Are you able to hear the truth of what others are noticing about you, and rather than bury it in explanations or excuses or more redirecting, you look for the answers that are right in front of you? You are not alone, you are never alone, and the answers are just waiting to be revealed to you. This is going to be an incredible year.