Beyond the Event

(Originally posted October 20, 2018)

After every life event, no matter how grand or subtle, there are ripples. Of course, in life, there are many events, many ripples. In the Tree of Life, I have learned that whether an experience is uplifting or something less than so, how I choose to accept those events will resonate through my love and friend circles and ultimately into my future.

The origin of my recent stress was ripples of events long ago catching up with me and my struggle to accept them. Over these past ten years, I have diligently sought out and addressed areas out of alignment. By many people’s accounts, I have achieved a measure of peace in my life in these past years, clarity. That is, of course, until two years ago. I was faced with something that would upset my apple cart once more. Knowing what I know, I called in all of my teachings and tools to acknowledge and address the anomaly. In January 2018, while sharing a Tree of Life teaching to a group, I heard my own words and opted to challenge myself to master this new challenge.

Oh, I can tell you this anomaly is both cunning and resilient, hence the stress. In March of this year, I chose to take things to another level by attending a personal vision quest. In my time in the lodge, it was revealed that I could no longer accept the anomalies in my life anymore. In seeing it, I also saw how to remedy it. Ultimately in my four days of quiet time and introspection, I realized the thing that had to change was me. Thank you again, Dannielle Ayotte, for providing such a wonderful lodge and place for this experience.

Okay, so first was to admit that something new had presented itself. After years of self-reflection and course changes, I had achieved a level of clarity far above where I had been living before. On this devotional path, the new anomaly was easier to see. I also reminded myself that if I am on a path, I am not at the destination, so keep going. The second thing was to accept that I am like everyone else in the world.

There is a Tree of Life philosophy that states we can be free of being a victim. The caveat is you are free when you realize you are creating your problems. This denotes personal accountability for everything we say and do, even think. It means each one of us creates all our events in life, yes, all events, the good, the uncomfortable, everything. I understand that for many, that is a tough pill to swallow. For me, considering the vast number of life choices I’ve made was like imagining how many stars are in the universe. The next thing for me to do was see how I felt about it. Then, and this is crucial, what was I going to say or do about it? This is where the problem loop begins. Doing something creates ripples.

I know my emotions want to be heard, yet how can I feel and still be free of sending waves of intentions out into the universe? The only way I knew of was to seek higher guidance, for I can see the truth in concert with a Divine knowing. I sought connection in my morning meditations, in the lodge and during my daily musings. I chose to go humbly into a place of receiving to seek clearer creations. The Tree of Life has many limbs and roots known as paths. I know each personally, intimately, and I let them guide me too. They taught me how to be still and let the waves settle.

Here’s an example of what accountability looks like. If one is presented a piece of apple pie, they can choose to accept it, not accept it or perhaps choose some other dessert. It’s just a choice. What they say next after that choice is important. Very simply, whatever words are chosen to describe, justify, and explain that choice will be remembered as a preference. If nothing is done to correct or alter that preference, chances are more and more people will support that person’s initial choice. Then those ripples head off into the future to meet them later.

What happens when the choice is something bigger than a piece of the pie? What if we follow our selection with a limited outcome statement? Well, we may find ourselves needing to correct or alter that statement, then deal with the ensuing confusion from changing it. All the while, until we learn what we are doing, we are sending conflicting ripples off into our future to meet us there. This is why life gets so confusing, and we, as humans, struggle with creative energy.

Now imagine how profound and creational our words are when shared in the angry voice needing to defend or justify ourselves? The challenge of we humans is to know how to stand in the truth, especially when someone is imposing their beliefs or projecting their worries upon us.

Whatever I said about apple pie in the past, an event, or how someone felt about me has now rippled towards me. In my years of dedication to a path, I could now see this anomaly clearly. I made a choice to clear the words shared in ago long events. I chose to see how those comments created life experiences and the predictable life pattern that emerged.

Like looking into a universe of choices, my life has been created from a misunderstanding of accountability. When did I agree to a less than acceptable outcome because I was in a good mood? How many times in emotional discomfort did I firmly reject something I would really have loved? I was now facing accountability on a much higher level and establishing what was truly at my highest. In January and again in March, I chose to still those waters, and I am still attending to it.

Before I arrived in Costa Rica, I became painfully aware of how many things in my life had been created by my thoughts during less than masterful moments. The previous blog story about homes being let go was both metaphor and truth. I was watching what was occurring in my life. It was also encouraging me to notice where I had overextended myself in trying to meet another’s beliefs. On a much deeper level, I was now choosing to learn how profound life could be by allowing the water to still itself without creating more ripples. My many years of study in the Tree of Life helped me now uncover a path where once there was no direction. Then, as if in affirmation of being back on track, I saw kindness. I heard it in the words of people like Paula Norman, Brenda Polzler, Stéphan Dufort and Lise Ram Das Kaur Latulippe. They spoke with compassion to me, free of a need to be pragmatic.

I have recently made a new friend, Ruth. She is a Buddhist who likes to remind her those who attend her talks the old adage, “we keep peeling away the layers of the onion until there is nothing left.” The timing of supportive people and their phrasings is always quick. In her words, I remember these events were created by me and are now being transformed in support of me. The Buddhist teaching of “No Self” is very similar to the Tree teaching of Ein Sof.

So yes, I am still attending to ripples. New ones appear every time someone encourages me to embrace their story or belief. Did I mention these anomalies are cunning and resilient? Of course, I did, and now I am choosing to let that creation go as well.

I know I will get this.